So she said, 'Cat! But the cat said to her, 'If you will go to yonder cow, and fetch [page ] me a saucer of milk, I will kill the rat. So away the old woman went, but when she got to the stream, she found the bucket was full of holes. So she covered the bottom with pebbles, and then filled the bucket with water, and away she went back with it to the haymakers; and they gave her a wisp of hay. Then Tatty sat down and wept; then a three legged stool said, Tatty why do you weep?
Titty's dead, said Tatty, and so I weep; then said the stool, I'll hop, so the stool hopped; then a besom in the corner of the room said, Stool, why do you hop? See Thoms's 'Anecdotes and Traditions,' p. See my introduction to Shakespeare's Mids. Night's Dream, p. Colons have been used extensively throughout the book, where, perhaps a semi-colon would be used today.
The colons have been retained, as they seem to suggest a subtle nuance of meaning. A few obvious punctuation errors have been repaired. Old-fashioned, but correct, punctuation which agrees with the scans has been retained. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text will appear. The following version of the song is of the seventeenth century, the one given above being probably a modernization:— Good King Cole, He call'd for his bowl, And he call'd for fidlers three: And there was fiddle fiddle, And twice fiddle fiddle, For 'twas my lady's birth-day; Therefore we keep holiday, And come to be merry.
When good king Arthur ruled this land, He was a goodly king; He stole three pecks of barley-meal, To make a bag-pudding. A bag-pudding the king did make, And stuff'd it well with plums: And in it put great lumps of fat, As big as my two thumbs. The king and queen did eat thereof, And noblemen beside; And what they could not eat that night, The queen next morning fried.
Robin Hood , Robin Hood, Is in the mickle wood! Little John, Little John, He to the town is gone. One moonshiny night As I sat high, Waiting for one To come by; The boughs did bend, My heart did ache To see what hole the fox did make. I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear; The king of Spain's daughter came to visit me, And all was because of my little nut tree. I skipp'd over water, I danced over sea, And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me. We make no spare Of John Hunkes' mare; And now I Think she will die; He thought it good To put her in the wood, To seek where she might ly dry; If the mare should chance to fale, Then the crownes would for her sale.
The king of France, and four thousand men, They drew their swords, and put them up again. The king of France went up the hill, With twenty thousand men; The king of France came down the hill, And ne'er went up again. The king of France, with twenty thousand men, Went up the hill, and then came down again; The king of Spain, with twenty thousand more, Climb'd the same hill the French had climb'd before.
The king of France, the king of France, with forty thousand men, Oh, they all went up the hill, and so—came back again! At the siege of Belle-isle I was there all the while, All the while, all the while, At the siege of Belle-isle. The rose is red, the grass is green, Serve Queen Bess our noble queen; Kitty the spinner Will sit down to dinner, And eat the leg of a frog; All good people Look over the steeple, And see the cat play with the dog.
Master Teague, what is your story? I went to the wood and kill'd a tory ; I went to the wood and kill'd another; Was it the same, or was it his brother? I hunted him in, and I hunted him out, Three times through the bog, about and about; When out of a bush I saw his head, So I fired my gun, and I shot him dead. Please to remember The fifth of November, Gunpowder treason and plot; I know no reason Why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot. See saw, sack-a-day; Monmouth is a pretie boy, Richmond is another, Grafton is my onely joy, And why should I these three destroy, To please a pious brother!
Over the water, and over the lee, And over the water to Charley. Charley loves good ale and wine, And Charley loves good brandy, And Charley loves a pretty girl, As sweet as sugar-candy. Over the water, and over the sea, And over the water to Charley, I'll have none of your nasty beef, Nor I'll have none of your barley; But I'll have some of your very best flour; To make a white cake for my Charley. High diddle ding, Did you hear the bells ring? The parliament soldiers are gone to the king!
Some they did laugh, some they did cry, To see the parliament soldiers pass by. High ding a ding, and ho ding a ding, The parliament soldiers are gone to the king; Some with new beavers, some with new bands, The parliament soldiers are all to be hang'd. Hector Protector was dressed all in green; Hector Protector was sent to the Queen. Poor old Robinson Crusoe! They made him a coat Of an old nanny goat, I wonder how they could do so!
With a ring a ting tang, And a ring a ting tang, Poor old Robinson Crusoe! What is the rhyme for poringer? The king he had a daughter fair, And gave the Prince of Orange her. William and Mary, George and Anne, Four such children had never a man: They put their father to flight and shame, And call'd their brother a shocking bad name. As I walk'd by myself, And talked to myself, Myself said unto me, Look to thyself, Take care of thyself, For nobody cares for thee.
I answer'd myself, And said to myself In the self-same repartee, Look to thyself, Or not look to thyself, The self-same thing will be. There was a monkey climb'd up a tree, When he fell down, then down fell he. There was a crow sat on a stone, When he was gone, then there was none. There was an old wife did eat an apple, When she had eat two, she had eat a couple. There was a horse going to the mill, When he went on, he stood not still. There was a butcher cut his thumb, When it did bleed, then blood did come.
There was a cobbler clowting shoon, When they were mended, they were done. There was a chandler making candle, When he them strip, he did them handle. There was a navy went into Spain, When it return'd it came again. Keep always from the fire: If it catch your attire, You too, like Monk, will be dead. Eighty-eight wor Kirby feight, When nivver a man was slain; They yatt their meaat, an drank ther drink An sae com merrily heaam agayn.
A , B , C , tumble down D , The cat's in the cupboard and can't see me. I let her go again. Great A , little a, B ouncing B! The cat's in the cupboard, And she can't see. One 's none; Two 's some; Three 's a many; Four 's a penny; Five is a little hundred. Z , and amperse-and, Go to school at command. Hickery , dickery, 6 and 7 , Alabone Crackabone 10 and 11 , Spin span muskidan; Twiddle 'um twaddle 'um, Apple-pie , pudding, and pancake, All begins with an A. Miss one, two, and three could never agree, While they gossiped round a tea-caddy.
Thirteen, fourteen, Maids a courting; Fifteen, sixteen, Maids a kissing; Seventeen, eighteen, Maids a waiting; Nineteen, twenty, My stomach's empty. Pat-a-cake , pat-a-cake, baker's man! A was an archer, and shot at a frog, B was a butcher, and had a great dog. C was a captain, all covered with lace, D was a drunkard, and had a red face.
Complete Dictionary of Cockney Rhyming Slang
E was an esquire, with pride on his brow, F was a farmer, and followed the plough. G was a gamester, who had but ill luck, H was a hunter and hunted a buck. I was an innkeeper, who lov'd to bouse, J was a joiner, and built up a house. K was King William, once governed this land, L was a lady, who had a white hand. M was a miser, and hoarded up gold, N was a nobleman, gallant and bold. O was an oyster wench, and went about town, P was a parson, and wore a black gown.
Q was a queen, who was fond of good flip, R was a robber, and wanted a whip. U was an usurer, a miserable elf, V was a vintner, who drank all himself. W was a watchman, and guarded the door. X was expensive, and so became poor. Y was a youth, that did not love school, Z was a zany, a poor harmless fool. A for the ape, that we saw at the fair; B for a blockhead, who ne'er shall go there; C for a collyflower, white as a curd; D for a duck, a very good bird; E for an egg, good in pudding or pies; F for a farmer, rich, honest, and wise; G for a gentleman, void of all care; H for the hound, that ran down the hare; I for an Indian, sooty and dark; K for the keeper, that look'd to the park; L for a lark, that soar'd in the air; M for a mole, that ne'er could get there; N for Sir Nobody, ever in fault; O for an otter, that ne'er could be caught; P for a pudding, stuck full of plums; Q was for quartering it, see here he comes; R for a rook, that croak'd in the trees; S for a sailor, that plough'd the deep seas; [page 21] T for a top, that doth prettily spin; V for a virgin of delicate mien; W for wealth, in gold, silver, and pence; X for old Xenophon, noted for sense; Y for a yew, which for ever is green; Z for the zebra, that belongs to the queen.
His lady's again in the way, So she said to her husband with joy, "I hope some or other fine day, To present you, my dear, with a boy. The gentleman answered gruff, "If 't should turn out a maid or a mouse, For of both we have more than enough, She shan't stay to live in my house. The lady, at this declaration, Almost fainted away with pain; But what was her sad consternation, When a sweet little girl came again. She sent her away to be nurs'd, Without seeing her gruff papa; And when she was old enough, To a school she was packed away.
Fifteen summers are fled, Now she left good Mrs. Jervis; To see home she was forbid,— She determined to go and seek service. Her dresses so grand and so gay, She carefully rolled in a knob; Which she hid in a forest away, And put on a Catskin robe. She knock'd at a castle gate, And pray'd for charity; They sent her some meat on a plate, And kept her a scullion to be. My lady look'd long in her face, And prais'd her great beauty; I'm sorry I've no better place, And you must our scullion be.
So Catskin was under the cook, A very sad life she led, For often a ladle she took, And broke poor Catskin's head. There is now a grand ball to be, When ladies their beauties show; "Mrs. Cook," said Catskin, "dear me, How much I should like to go! Among the fine ladies and lords, A very fine figure you'd cut.
A basin of water she took, And dash'd in poor Catskin's face; But briskly her ears she shook, And went to her hiding-place. She washed every stain from her skin, In some crystal waterfall; Then put on a beautiful dress, And hasted away to the ball. When she entered, the ladies were mute, Overcome by her figure and face; But the lord, her young master, at once Fell in love with her beauty and grace;. He pray'd her his partner to be, She said, "Yes! Then she flew from the ball-room, and put On her Catskin robe again; And slipt in unseen by the cook, Who little thought where she had been.
The young lord, the very next day, To his mother his passion betrayed; He declared he never would rest, Till he'd found out this beautiful maid. There's another grand ball to be, Where ladies their beauties show; "Mrs. In a rage the ladle she took, And broke poor Catskin's head; But off she went shaking her ears, And swift to her forest she fled. She washed every blood-stain off In some crystal waterfall; Put on a more beautiful dress, And hasted away to the ball.
My lord, at the ball-room door, Was waiting with pleasure and pain; He longed to see nothing so much As the beautiful Catskin again. When he asked her to dance, she again Said "Yes! Then she flew from the ball, and put on Her Catskin robe again; And slipt in unseen by the cook, Who little thought where she had been. My lord did again, the next day, Declare to his mother his mind, That he never more happy should be, Unless he his charmer should find. Now another grand ball is to be, Where ladies their beauties show; "Mrs. In a fury she took the skimmer, And broke poor Catskin's head; But heart-whole and lively as ever, Away to her forest she fled.
She washed the stains of blood In some crystal waterfall; Then put on her most beautiful dress, And hasted away to the ball. Then she flew from the ball, and threw on Her Catskin cloak again; And slipt in unseen by the cook, Who little thought where she had been. But not by my lord unseen, For this time he followed too fast; And, hid in the forest green, Saw the strange things that past. Next day he took to his bed, And sent for the doctor to come; And begg'd him no other than Catskin, Might come into his room.
He told him how dearly he lov'd her, Not to have her his heart would break: Then the doctor kindly promised To the proud old lady to speak. There's a struggle of pride and love, For she fear'd her son would die; But pride at the last did yield, And love had the mastery. Then my lord got quickly well, When he was his charmer to wed; And Catskin, before a twelvemonth, Of a young lord was brought to bed. To a wayfaring woman and child, Lady Catskin one day sent an alms; The nurse did the errand, and carried The sweet little lord in her arms.
The child gave the alms to the child, This was seen by the old lady-mother; "Only see," said that wicked old woman, "How the beggars' brats take to each other! This throw went to Catskin's heart, She flung herself down on her knees, And pray'd her young master and lord To seek out her parents would please. They set out in my lord's own coach; They travelled, but nought befel Till they reach'd the town hard by, Where Catskin's father did dwell.
They put up at the head inn, Where Catskin was left alone; But my lord went to try if her father His natural child would own. When folks are away, in short time What great alterations appear; For the cold touch of death had all chill'd The hearts of her sisters dear. Her father repented too late, And the loss of his youngest bemoan'd; In his old and childless state, He his pride and cruelty own'd. The old gentleman sat by the fire, And hardly looked up at my lord; He had no hopes of comfort A stranger could afford. But my lord drew a chair close by, And said, in a feeling tone, "Have you not, sir, a daughter, I pray, You never would see or own?
The old man alarm'd, cried aloud, "A hardened sinner am I! I would give all my worldly goods, To see her before I die. Then my lord brought his wife and child To their home and parent's face, Who fell down and thanks returned To God, for his mercy and grace. The bells, ringing up in the tower, Are sending a sound to the heart; There's a charm in the old church-bells, Which nothing in life can impart! Says the pieman to Simple Simon, "Show me first your penny. Simple Simon went a fishing For to catch a whale: All the water he had got Was in his mother's pail.
There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile, He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile: He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse, And they all lived together in a little crooked house. Robin the Bobbin, the big-bellied Ben, He eat more meat than fourscore men; He eat a cow, he eat a calf, He eat a butcher and a half; He eat a church, he eat a steeple, He eat the priest and all the people!
A cow and a calf, An ox and a half, A church and a steeple, And all the good people, And yet he complain'd that his stomach wasn't full. There was a fat man of Bombay, Who was smoking one sunshiny day, When a bird, called a snipe, Flew away with his pipe, Which vex'd the fat man of Bombay.
Drama - Rhyming Strawberry Queen
My dear, do you know, How a long time ago, Two poor little children, Whose names I don't know, Were stolen away on a fine summer's day, And left in a wood, as I've heard people say. And when it was night, So sad was their plight, The sun it went down, And the moon gave no light! They sobb'd and they sigh'd, and they bitterly cried, And the poor little things, they lay down and died.
And when they were dead, The Robins so red Brought strawberry leaves, And over them spread; And all the day long, They sung them this song, "Poor babes in the wood! And don't you remember the babes in the wood? There was a man, and he had naught, And robbers came to rob him; He crept up to the chimney pot, And then they thought they had him.
But he got down on t'other side, And then they could not find him; He ran fourteen miles in fifteen days, And never look'd behind him. There was a little man, And he had a little gun, And he went to the brook, And he shot a little rook; And he took it home To his old wife Joan, And told her to make up a fire, While he went back, To fetch the little drake; But when he got there, The drake was fled for fear, And like an old novice, He turn'd back again.
Little King Boggen he built a fine hall. Pye-crust, and pastry-crust, that was the wall; The windows were made of black-puddings and white, And slated with pancakes—you ne'er saw the like. The lion and the unicorn Were fighting for the crown; The lion beat the unicorn All round about the town. Some gave them white bread, And some gave them brown; Some gave them plum-cake, And sent them out of town. There was a jolly miller Lived on the river Dee, He look'd upon his pillow, And there he saw a flee. Flea, You have been biting me, And you must die: So he crack'd his bones Upon the stones, And there he let him lie.
Tom , Tom, the piper's son, Stole a pig, and away he run! The pig was eat, and Tom was beat, And Tom went roaring down the street. His stature but an inch in height, Or quarter of a span; Then think you not this little knight Was proved a valiant man? His father was a ploughman plain, His mother milk'd the cow, Yet how that they might have a son They knew not what to do:. Until such time this good old man To learned Merlin goes, And there to him his deep desires In secret manner shows. How in his heart he wish'd to have A child, in time to come, To be his heir, though it might be No bigger than his thumb.
Of which old Merlin thus foretold, That he his wish should have, And so this son of stature small The charmer to him gave. No blood nor bones in him should be, In shape, and being such That men should hear him speak, but not His wandering shadow touch. But so unseen to go or come,— Whereas it pleas'd him still; Begot and born in half an hour, To fit his father's will. And in four minutes grew so fast That he became so tall As was the ploughman's thumb in height, And so they did him call—.
Tom Thumb , the which the fairy queen There gave him to his name, Who, with her train of goblins grim, Unto his christening came. Whereas she cloth'd him richly brave, In garments fine and fair, Which lasted him for many years In seemly sort to wear. His hat made of an oaken leaf, His shirt a spider's web, Both light and soft for those his limbs That were so smally bred. His hose and doublet thistle-down, Together weaved full fine; His stockings of an apple green, Made of the outward rind; [page 46]. His garters were two little hairs Pull'd from his mother's eye; His boots and shoes, a mouse's skin, Were tann'd most curiously.
Thus like a lusty gallant, he Adventured forth to go, With other children in the streets, His pretty tricks to show.
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Where he for counters, pins, and points, And cherry-stones did play, Till he amongst those gamesters young Had lost his stock away. Yet could he soon renew the same, Whereas most nimbly he Would dive into their cherry-bags, And their partaker be,. Unseen or felt by any one, Until this scholar shut This nimble youth into a box, Wherein his pins he put. Of whom to be reveng'd, he took, In mirth and pleasant game, Black pots and glasses, which he hung Upon a bright sun-beam. The other boys to do the like, In pieces broke them quite; For which they were most soundly whipt; Whereat he laughed outright.
And so Tom Thumb restrained was, From these his sports and play; And by his mother after that, Compell'd at home to stay.
Until such time his mother went A-milking of her kine; Where Tom unto a thistle fast She linked with a twine. A thread that held him to the same, For fear the blustering wind Should blow him hence,—that so she might Her son in safety find. But mark the hap! Who, being miss'd, his mother went Him calling everywhere; Where art thou, Tom? Where art thou, Tom? Quoth he, here, mother, here! Within the red cow's stomach here, Your son is swallowed up: The which into her fearful heart, Most careful dolours put.
Meanwhile the cow was troubled much, And soon releas'd Tom Thumb; No rest she had till out her mouth, In bad plight he did come. Now after this, in sowing time, His father would him have Into the field to drive his plough, And thereupon him gave—. A whip made of a barley-straw, To drive the cattle on; Where, in a furrow'd land new sown, Poor Tom was lost and gone.
Now by a raven of great strength, Away he thence was borne, And carried in the carrion's beak, Even like a grain of corn,. Unto a giant's castle top, In which he let him fall; Where soon the giant swallowed up His body, clothes, and all. But soon the giant spat him out, Three miles into the sea; Whereas a fish soon took him up, And bore him thence away. Which lusty fish was after caught, And to king Arthur sent; Where Tom was found, and made his dwarf, Whereas his days he spent. Long time in lively jollity, Belov'd of all the court; And none like Tom was then esteem'd, Among the noble sort.
Amongst his deeds of courtship done, His highness did command, That he should dance a galliard brave Upon his queen's left hand. The which he did, and for the same The king his signet gave, Which Tom about his middle wore, Long time a girdle brave. How, after this, the king would not Abroad for pleasure go But still Tom Thumb must ride with him, Placed on his saddle-bow. Whereon a time when, as it rain'd, Tom Thumb most nimbly crept In at a button-hole, where he Within his bosom slept. And being near his highness' heart, He crav'd a wealthy boon, A liberal gift, the which the king Commanded to be done.
For to relieve his father's wants, And mother's, being old; Which was, so much of silver coin As well his arms could hold. And so away goes lusty Tom, With threepence on his back, A heavy burthen, which might make His wearied limbs to crack. So travelling two days and nights, With labour and great pain, He came into the house whereat His parents did remain;.
Which was but half a mile in space From good king Arthur's court, The which, in eight and forty hours, He went in weary sort. But coming to his father's door, He there such entrance had As made his parents both rejoice, And he thereat was glad. His mother in her apron took Her gentle son in haste, And by the fire-side, within A walnut-shell him placed;. Whereas they feasted him three days Upon a hazel-nut, Whereon he rioted so long, He them to charges put;.
And thereupon grew wond'rous sick, Through eating too much meat, Which was sufficient for a month For this great man to eat. But now his business call'd him forth King Arthur's court to see, Whereas no longer from the same He could a stranger be. But yet a few small April drops Which settled in the way, His long and weary journey forth Did hinder and so stay.
Until his careful father took A birding trunk in sport, And with one blast, blew this his son Into king Arthur's court. Now he with tilts and tournaments Was entertained so, That all the best of Arthur's knights Did him much pleasure show:. In honour of which noble day, And for his lady's sake, A challenge in king Arthur's court Tom Thumb did bravely make.
Which made the courtiers all aghast, For there that valiant man, Through Lancelot's steed, before them all, In nimble manner ran. Yea, horse and all, with spear and shield, As hardy he was seen, But only by king Arthur's self And his admired queen;. Who from her finger took a ring, Through which Tom Thumb made way, Not touching it, in nimble sort, As it was done in play. He likewise cleft the smallest hair From his fair lady's head, Not hurting her whose even hand Him lasting honours bred.
Such were his deeds and noble acts In Arthur's court there shone, As like in all the world beside Was hardly seen or known. Now at these sports he toil'd himself, That he a sickness took, Through which all manly exercise He carelessly forsook. When lying on his bed sore sick, King Arthur's doctor came, With cunning skill, by physic's art, To ease and cure the same. His body being so slender small, This cunning doctor took A fine perspective glass, with which He did in secret look—. Into his sickened body down, And therein saw that Death Stood ready in his wasted frame To cease his vital breath.
His arms and legs consum'd as small As was a spider's web, Through which his dying hour grew on, For all his limbs grew dead. His face no bigger than an ant's, Which hardly could be seen; The loss of which renowned knight Much grieved the king and queen. And so with peace and quietness He left this earth below; And up into the fairy-land His ghost did fading go, [page 55]. Whereas the fairy-queen receiv'd, With heavy mourning cheer, The body of this valiant knight, Whom she esteem'd so dear.
For with her dancing nymphs in green, She fetch'd him from his bed, With music and sweet melody, So soon as life was fled;. For whom king Arthur and his knights Full forty days did mourn; And, in remembrance of his name, That was so strangely born—. He built a tomb of marble gray, And year by year did come To celebrate ye mournful death And burial of Tom Thumb.
Whose fame still lives in England here, Amongst the country sort; Of whom our wives and children small Tell tales of pleasant sport. Bryan O'Lin , and his wife, and wife's mother, They all went over a bridge together: The bridge was broken, and they all fell in, The deuce go with all! Mother Goose had a house, 'Twas built in a wood, Where an owl at the door For sentinel stood. This is her son Jack, A plain-looking lad, He is not very good, Nor yet very bad.
She sent him to market, A live goose he bought, Here, mother, says he, It will not go for nought. Jack's goose and her gander, Grew very fond; They'd both eat together, Or swim in one pond. Jack found one morning, As I have been told, His goose had laid him An egg of pure gold. Jack rode to his mother, The news for to tell, She call'd him a good boy, And said it was well. Jack sold his gold egg To a rogue of a Jew, Who cheated him out of The half of his due.
She then with her wand, Touch'd the lady so fine, And turn'd her at once Into sweet Columbine. The gold egg into the sea Was thrown then,— When Jack jump'd in, And got the egg back again. The Jew got the goose, Which he vow'd he would kill, Resolving at once His pockets to fill. Jack's mother came in, And caught the goose soon, And mounting its back, Flew up to the moon.
Three wise men of Gotham Went to sea in a bowl: And if the bowl had been stronger, My song would have been longer. Robin and Richard were two pretty men; They laid in bed till the clock struck ten; Then up starts Robin, and looks at the sky, Oh! The bull's in the barn threshing the corn, The cock's on the dunghill blowing his horn, The cat's at the fire frying of fish, The dog's in the pantry breading his dish.
My lady Wind, my lady Wind, Went round about the house to find A chink to get her foot in: She tried the key-hole in the door, She tried the crevice in the floor, And drove the chimney soot in. And then one night when it was dark, She blew up such a tiny spark, That all the house was pothered: From it she raised up such a flame, As flamed away to Belting Lane, And White Cross folks were smothered.
And thus when once, my little dears, A whisper reaches itching ears, The same will come, you'll find: Take my advice, restrain the tongue, Remember what old nurse has sung Of busy lady Wind! Old Abram Brown is dead and gone, You'll never see him more; He used to wear a long brown coat, That button'd down before.
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A dog and a cock, A journey once took, They travell'd along till 'twas late; The dog he made free In the hollow of a tree, And the cock on the boughs of it sate. The cock nothing knowing, In the morn fell a crowing, Upon which comes a fox to the tree; Says he, I declare, Your voice is above, All the creatures I ever did see. So he went—and was worried for it too. Tommy kept a chandler's shop, Richard went to buy a mop, Tommy gave him such a knock, That sent him out of his chandler's shop,. When I was a little girl, about seven years old, I hadn't got a petticoat, to cover me from the cold; [page 63] So I went into Darlington, that pretty little town, And there I bought a petticoat, a cloak, and a gown.
I went into the woods and built me a kirk, And all the birds of the air, they helped me to work; The hawk with his long claws pulled down the stone, The dove, with her rough bill, brought me them home; The parrot was the clergyman, the peacock was the clerk, The bullfinch play'd the organ, and we made merry work. Pemmy was a pretty girl, But Fanny was a better; Pemmy looked like any churl, When little Fanny let her. Pemmy had a pretty nose, But Fanny had a better; Pemmy oft would come to blows, But Fanny would not let her.
Pemmy had a pretty doll, But Fanny had a better; Pemmy chatter'd like a poll, When little Fanny let her. Pemmy had a pretty song, But Fanny had a better; Pemmy would sing all day long, But Fanny would not let her. Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief; Taffy came to my house and stole a piece of beef: I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not at home; Taffy came to my house and stole a marrow-bone.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was not in; Taffy came to my house and stole a silver pin: I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was in bed, I took up a poker and flung it at his head. There was a king and he had three daughter, And they all lived in a basin of water; The basin bended, My story's ended. If the basin had been stronger, My story would have been longer. The man in the moon, Came tumbling down, And ask'd his way to Norwich, He went by the south, And burnt his mouth With supping cold pease-porridge.
Our saucy boy Dick, Had a nice little stick Cut from a hawthorn tree; And with this pretty stick, He thought he could beat A boy much bigger than he. But the boy turned round, And hit him a rebound, Which did so frighten poor Dick, That, without more delay, He ran quite away, And over a hedge he jumped quick. Moss was a little man, and a little mare did buy, For kicking and for sprawling none her could come nigh; [page 67] She could trot, she could amble, and could canter here and there, But one night she strayed away—so Moss lost his mare.
Moss got up next morning to catch her fast asleep, And round about the frosty fields so nimbly he did creep. Dead in a ditch he found her, and glad to find her there, So I'll tell you by and bye, how Moss caught his mare. To make your candles last for a', You wives and maids give ear-o! To put 'em out's the only way, Says honest John Boldero. If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride; If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side. Nature requires five, Custom gives seven! Laziness takes nine, And Wickedness eleven.
Three straws on a staff, Would make a baby cry and laugh. See a pin and pick it up, All the day you'll have good luck; See a pin and let it lay, Bad luck you'll have all the day! Go to bed first, a golden purse; Go to bed second, a golden pheasant; Go to bed third, a golden bird! When the wind is in the east, 'Tis neither good for man nor beast; When the wind is in the north, The skilful fisher goes not forth; When the wind is in the south, It blows the bait in the fishes' mouth; When the wind is in the west, Then 'tis at the very best.
Bounce Buckram , velvet's dear; Christmas comes but once a year. A man of words and not of deeds, Is like a garden full of weeds; And when the weeds begin to grow, It's like a garden full of snow; And when the snow begins to fall, It's like a bird upon the wall; And when the bird away does fly, It's like an eagle in the sky; [page 71] And when the sky begins to roar, It's like a lion at the door; And when the door begins to crack, It's like a stick across your back; And when your back begins to smart, It's like a penknife in your heart; And when your heart begins to bleed, You're dead, and dead, and dead, indeed.
A man of words and not of deeds, Is like a garden full of weeds; For when the weeds begin to grow, Then doth the garden overflow. If you sneeze on Monday, you sneeze for danger; Sneeze on a Tuesday, kiss a stranger; Sneeze on a Wednesday, sneeze for a letter; Sneeze on a Thursday, something better; Sneeze on a Friday, sneeze for sorrow; Sneeze on a Saturday, see your sweetheart to-morrow. A pullet in the pen Is worth a hundred in the fen!
He that would thrive Must rise at five; He that hath thriven May lie till seven; And he that by the plough would thrive, Himself must either hold or drive. Needles and pins, needles and pins, When a man marries his trouble begins. A sunshiny shower, Won't last half an hour. As the days grow longer, The storms grow stronger. As the days lengthen, So the storms strengthen. He that goes to see his wheat in May, Comes weeping away.
The mackerel's cry, Is never long dry. A guinea it would sink, And a pound it would float; Yet I'd rather have a guinea, Than your one pound note. For every evil under the sun, There is a remedy, or there is none. If there be one, try and find it; If there be none, never mind it. The art of good driving 's a paradox quite, Though custom has prov'd it so long; If you go to the left, you're sure to go right, If you go to the right, you go wrong. Friday night's dream On the Saturday told, Is sure to come true, Be it never so old. When the sand doth feed the clay, England woe and well-a-day!
But when the clay doth feed the sand, Then it is well with Angle-land. The fair maid who, the first of May, Goes to the fields at break of day, And washes in dew from the hawthorn tree Will ever after handsome be. Tell tale, tit! Your tongue shall be slit, And all the dogs in the town Shall have a little bit.
In fir tar is, In oak none is. In mud eel is, In clay none is. Goat eat ivy, Mare eat oats. Birch and green holly, boys, Birch and green holly. If you get beaten, boys, 'Twill be your own folly. When V and I together meet, They make the number Six compleat. Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November; February has twenty-eight alone, All the rest have thirty-one, Excepting leap-year, that's the time When February's days are twenty-nine. My story's ended, My spoon is bended: If you don't like it, Go to the next door, And get it mended.
The rose is red, the grass is green; And in this book my name is seen. Cross patch, Draw the latch, Sit by the fire and spin; Take a cup, And drink it up, Then call your neighbours in. Come when you're called, Do what you're bid, Shut the door after you, Never be chid. Speak when you're spoken to, Come when one call; Shut the door after you, And turn to the wall!
I love my love with an A , because he's A greeable. I hate him because he's A varicious. He took me to the Sign of the A corn, And treated me with A pples. His name's A ndrew, And he lives at A rlington. If ifs and ands, Were pots and pans, There would be no need for tinkers! Mistress Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With cockle-shells, and silver bells, And mussels all a row. Doctor Faustus was a good man, He whipt his scholars now and then; When he whipp'd them he made them dance, Out of Scotland into France, Out of France into Spain, And then he whipp'd them back again!
Legomoton , Acapon, Alfagheuse, Pasti venison. When I was a little boy, I had but little wit It is some time ago, and I've no more yet; Nor ever ever shall, until that I die, For the longer I live, the more fool am I. Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, And let's drink tea. Sukey take it off again, Sukey take it off again, Sukey take it off again, They're all gone away. One misty moisty morning When cloudy was the weather, There I met an old man Clothed all in leather; Clothed all in leather, With cap under his chin,— How do you do, and how do you do, And how do you do again!
The fox and his wife they had a great strife, They never eat mustard in all their whole life; They eat their meat without fork or knife, And loved to be picking a bone, e-ho! The fox jumped up on a moonlight night; The stars they were shining, and all things bright; Oh, ho! The fox when he came to yonder stile, He lifted his lugs and he listened a while! Oh, ho! The fox when he came to the farmer's gate, Who should he see but the farmer's drake; I love you well for your master's sake, And long to be picking your bone, e-ho!
The gray goose she ran round the hay-stack, Oh, ho! Old Gammer Hipple-hopple hopped out of bed, She opened the casement, and popped out her head; Oh! Then the old man got up in his red cap, And swore he would catch the fox in a trap; But the fox was too cunning, and gave him the slip, And ran thro' the town, the town, oh! When he got to the top of the hill, He blew his trumpet both loud and shrill, For joy that he was safe Thro' the town, oh!
When the fox came back to his den, He had young ones both nine and ten, "You're welcome home, daddy, you may go again, If you bring us such nice meat From the town, oh! I had better have kept her, 'Till fatter she had been, For now, I confess, She's a little too lean. First in comes the tanner With his sword by his side, And he bids me five shillings For my poor cow's hide. General Election Erection. Geoff Hurst Burst urinate. Geoff Hurst Thirst. Geoffrey Chaucer Saucer. George and Zippy Nippy cold. George Best Chest.
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