The problem is, what one person considers sound, fair, and sensible is much different from someone else's assessment--especially when dealing with controversial topics. That's why empathy is so important: it allows you to reason from the other person's point of view instead of your own. In the course of a discussion, you may become even more convinced that the other person is wrong. You may see key weaknesses in their position and be tempted to "go for the kill.
But people are emotionally attached to their beliefs. If you mercilessly expose every flaw in your partner's reasoning, they'll feel attacked. Remember that lasting influence takes time.
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Your goal isn't to "win the argument" or change someone's mind in a single discussion. Rather, strive to see the bigger picture. But used alone, their reach is extremely limited. Simply put, they're boring.
The Art of Emotion — Norman’s 3 Levels of Emotional Design
But everyone loves a great story. When you can use an anecdote or factual example to illustrate your topic, you bring it to life for your listener. It engages their mental faculties; it touches them. You also bridge the link between theory and practice. Don't just recount the facts; find a way to bring them to life.
Emotional intelligence comes in all different packages, shapes, and sizes. Man or woman. Quiet or loud. Brash or meek. Leader or follower. As you become aware of your own emotional tendencies and weaknesses, endeavor to learn from those who are the most different from you.
Because in many cases, it's those people who can teach you the most. Our emotions influence practically everything about our lives.
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They help us decide which career path we take, for which jobs we apply. They determine whether or not we enjoy a movie, a song, or a piece of art. They impact our decisions as to where we will live and for how long. They help us determine with whom we choose to spend our time, whom we fall in love with and marry Emotions can cause us to make a split-second decision, with consequences that will follow us for the rest of our lives. At times, they make us feel like we're stuck in a black hole with no way out--even if in the eyes of the rest of the world we've got it made.
But they can also provide light at the end of the tunnel, making the most dire of circumstances more bearable. Emotions determine how we choose our leaders and how our leaders choose us. They've motivated every war that's ever been fought--and every peace treaty that's ever been signed.
20th WCP: On Emotion and Value in David Hume and Max Scheler
Remember that emotional intelligence isn't about understanding every feeling you have as it occurs or dissecting every event as it happens. Rather, it's the ability to search for deeper understanding when beneficial. And the ability to simply enjoy the moment when not. Emotional intelligence manifests itself in various ways. The best way to protect yourself from harmful uses of emotional intelligence is by striving to increase your own. Emotions are beautiful. They make us human. Enjoy them. Love them. Embrace them. But never underestimate their power, and their potential to do harm.
Fact and Value in Emotion
But what is emotional intelligence, exactly? And how can it help you in your everyday life? Why did I react the way I did? Did my reaction help me or harm me? How does this situation fit into the big picture? How will I fell about it in an hour? A week? A year? What may I have misunderstood or be getting wrong, especially in the heat of the moment? Buy eBook.
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Buy Hardcover. Buy Softcover. FAQ Policy. About this book Distinguished international scholars discuss the connection between emotion and value in Kant's philosophy, from his ethics to his philosophy of mind, aesthetics, religion and politics.
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